Religious Trauma: What It Is and How to Heal

Daniel Rusco, LMHC, Religious Trauma Therapist in Seattle & Washington State
I help adults heal the impact of religious trauma, high-control faith systems, and shame-based teachings through a relational, psychoanalytic approach. Instead of just managing symptoms, I guide you in understanding the roots of your fear, guilt, and self-doubt so you can rebuild self-trust, identity, and emotional freedom. If you’re deconstructing or recovering from harmful religion, therapy can help you feel grounded and whole again.

Religious trauma can shape your identity, relationships, self-worth, and even your ability to trust your own inner voice.

Many of the clients I work with come to me saying things like:

“I feel guilty for leaving.”
“I don’t know who I am without the beliefs I was raised with.”
“I still hear the voices of fear, shame, and punishment in my head.”

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone—and there is nothing wrong with you. Religious trauma is real, and it’s deeply personal. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Washington State, I specialize in helping adults heal the psychological and emotional impact of harmful religious experiences, high-control groups, spiritual abuse, and systems that taught you to ignore your needs or abandon yourself.

This work often goes far beyond “managing symptoms.” My goal is to help you heal the root, understand what happened to you, and rebuild a sense of self that feels grounded, free, and truly your own.

What Is Religious Trauma?

Religious trauma isn’t the result of faith itself—it’s the emotional and psychological harm caused by:

• High-control or fear-based religious systems

• Teachings rooted in shame, punishment, or unworthiness

• Conditional love and approval

• Purity culture and rigid rules around sexuality or identity

• Spiritual abuse from leaders or communities

• Threats of abandonment, hell, or social isolation

• Environments that discouraged questions, autonomy, or individuality

For many people, the effects show up years later in the form of anxiety, chronic guilt, difficulty trusting others, relationship struggles, perfectionism, or a deep fear of making “the wrong choice.”

When we unpack these experiences together, clients often say, “I finally understand why I feel this way.”

Awareness itself can be healing—but it’s just the beginning.

How Religious Trauma Impacts Your Life Today

The effects of religious trauma are complex because they intertwine with your earliest memories, relationships, and sense of identity.

Some common experiences my clients describe include:

1. Shame That Feels Impossible to Shake

You may have been taught that you were inherently bad, sinful, broken, or unworthy unless you followed strict rules. Even long after leaving the environment, the shame stays in your body.

2. Fear of Being Wrong or “Messing Up”

Many people live with an internalized fear that making a mistake will lead to punishment, rejection, or catastrophic outcomes.

3. Difficulty Trusting Yourself

If you grew up being told what to think, feel, or believe, self-trust doesn’t come naturally. You may struggle to make decisions or hear your own needs.

4. Strained or Confusing Relationships

Rigid gender roles, purity teachings, or emotional suppression often create challenges in adult relationships—especially with intimacy, boundaries, and communication.

5. Grief and Loss

Leaving a religious community can mean losing family, friends, identity, or a sense of belonging. This grief is often overlooked or minimized, but it is real and deserving of care.

6. Anxiety, Depression, or Emotional Numbness

Your nervous system may still be responding to old threats and expectations, keeping you stuck in hypervigilance, self-blame, or shutdown.

If you recognize yourself in any of these experiences, therapy can help you make sense of what happened and reclaim parts of yourself that were suppressed, silenced, or shamed.

How You Can Heal Religious Trauma

It is important to find a therapist that is a good fit for you and your personal needs. There is no “right” way of healing, but rather tuning in and listening to yourself and what you need in your journey. And for some people that can also be a combination of different types of therapy. It is important to be mindful that both your mind and body have been impacted by religious trauma. Below, I’m going to share how I approach religious trauma in therapy and you can see what resonates.

I use a relational and root cause healing approach along with EMDR, meaning I don’t just focus on coping skills or quick fixes. Instead, we explore how your past shaped your inner world—your beliefs, fears, expectations, patterns, and the way you move through relationships today.

My goal is not to remove your history, but to help you understand it in a way that restores choice, freedom, and connection to yourself.

1. Move at Your Pace

Religious trauma often includes experiences of coercion or pressure. Therapy should be the opposite. I create a space where you get to decide what feels right, when you want to explore something, and how deep you want to go.

2. Understand the Roots, Not Just the Symptoms

Learn to identify how many beliefs you’ve taken in as your own that aren’t actually yours to hold and instead you can figure what values you do personally hold. Many of my clients say:

“I didn’t realize how much of this wasn’t actually mine.”

Understanding the origins of your thoughts, fears, and relationship patterns gives you the freedom to relate to them differently.

3. Your Experience Is Never Minimized

Religious trauma is often dismissed—by family, friends, or even other therapists. I take your story seriously. You won’t be told to “just move on” or “forgive and forget.” We’ll look at what actually happened and how it continues to echo in your life.

4. Rebuild Self-Trust and Inner Authority

One of the most powerful outcomes of this work is learning to hear your own voice again. I help you reconnect with your desires, boundaries, instincts, and values—so you can rebuild a life that reflects who you truly are.

5. You Don’t Need to Have All the Answers

Whether you’ve left your faith, are questioning your beliefs, or still participate in a religious community but feel conflicted—therapy is a place where you get to be honest. You don’t have to choose sides. You get to choose yourself.

What Healing Can Look Like

While healing is not linear, clients often describe transformation in meaningful ways:

A Quieter Inner Critic

The voice that once judged or shamed you becomes softer, and eventually, it no longer defines your worth.

More Freedom and Flexibility

You may begin to feel less afraid of making decisions—or of being yourself.

Deeper, Healthier Relationships

As you understand your patterns, you create more honest and connected relationships with partners, family, and friends.

A New Sense of Identity

You get to answer questions that may have been decided for you:

• Who am I?

• What do I want?

• What do I believe in now?

• What feels meaningful for me—not because I “should,” but because it’s true?

A Body That Feels Safer

Religious trauma often lives in the body. Through our work, you may notice more calm, stability, and emotional grounding.

Healing doesn’t mean erasing your past. It means reclaiming your future.

My Commitment as Your Therapist

As a therapist who has worked through religious trauma myself and I’ve worked with many individuals healing from religious trauma, I understand how vulnerable this work can be. My commitment is to meet you with honesty, curiosity, and respect. I don’t pathologize your experiences. I don’t rush your process. And I don’t offer surface-level reassurance.

Instead, I help you explore the parts of yourself that were never allowed to exist—and the parts of you that are ready to be seen.

If you’ve felt confused, conflicted, or alone in your healing, you deserve a space where your story is understood and your pain is acknowledged.

You deserve to feel whole.

Start Religious Trauma Therapy in Washington State

If you’re ready to begin this work, I’m here to support you. I offer religious trauma therapy for adults in Seattle and throughout Washington State via secure online sessions. Whether you’re deconstructing, rebuilding, questioning, or grieving, you don’t have to navigate this alone.

Healing is possible. You can reclaim your voice, your identity, and your sense of self.

If you’d like to schedule a consultation, ask a question, or learn more about my approach, I invite you to reach out. I’d be honored to support you in your healing.